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Punjabi Marriage in All Its Glory as the Bahu Sees It From Outside

An Intercultural wedding! A lot goes behind the scenes of a Punjabi marriage. Your wedding ceremony is only the first step towards that new journey. Read on to find out what goes in the mind of a bride post-wedding.

Gautam Khullar Photography

North meets south. Boy meets Girl. Fall in love! Finally, married! This is where the fun ends and the real deal begins (just kidding). You’re a newlywed bride, nervous and anxious about your new family. How will you remember the names of all the new relatives? Or, adapt yourself with the new traditions, because being the outsider Bahu, you'll have to make yourself a part of each and every one of them, at least for a little while? It’s a lot to take in.

Will it be idli and dosa for dinner or butter naan and daal makhani? We'll stop trying to make it sound funny and we appreciate the change that you have decided to welcome with arms wide open, and of course, you are in it for the most special and joyous ride of your life with the Punjabi marriage - its ceremonies and the festivities in full swing.

We understand! But, we are to help you understand how your life may or may not change now that you have a Punjabi marriage to take care of and a Punjabi Munda to spend the rest of your life with. Your new journey will become a lovely concoction of two states falling in love with one another. We’ll help you prep for what awaits you, both good and bad, but mostly good (we promise).

So, pay attention and bookmark this article if you are soon to get married into a big fat Punjabi family or know someone who is about to take this leap of faith!

1. How To Balance Your Bridal Chura While You Sleep?


Yep! Bridal Churas! Now that you’re married and back in your room, you find yourself wondering, how will you sleep with the bridal Chura on? It’s an adequate and expected reaction. Trust us, we know! It will be a task really but you gotta do what you gotta do. It will take you a day or two before you get a hang of it really. You even have to worry about them getting entangled with your hair or worse with your husband's or both.

Your Solution To Nail This: Tie your bridal Chura using a scrunchie before you sleep or tie a scarf around your wrists to keep them in place. By doing so you will avoid any chance of scratching your face with them while asleep or damaging them in the process. Don't forget to apply some cream on the wrists where the bangles fall to make sure that you do not hurt your wrists in the process of tying and saving your face and hair. It also helps to keep the area moisturised and away from allergies.

2. How To Colour Coordinate your Bridal Chura With Your Daily Outfit?

via Gfycat

This is but one of the perks of getting married to a Punjabi Munda. You have to wear them for at least a year. Brunches, dinner parties, date nights, office everywhere! So, you will have to make your bridal Chura stand out as you take on your daily life post your Punjabi marriage.

Your Solution To Nail This: Thanks to designers these days there are multiple styles of bridal Chura available. You can pick a minimalistic design and choose a colour palette you can work around with best. Also, you can add a bracelet or perhaps, a watch with it so that you are a soulful mix of modern yet Desi. This will help you pair any outfit with it.

3. How To Be A Proper Patola Bride At All Times


After every Punjabi marriage comes the expectation of the new Bahu being all prim and proper. We understand that you’re a newlywed, you’re swamped with relatives and meet and greets. But, you still got to be on-point and slay! But, sadly there are only 24 hours in a day for you to do that. How to do that while finding some ME and WE time with your husband?

Your Solution To Nail This: Keep a handy bridal makeup kit with yourself. Stock it with all essentials so that you can become your own MUA each day. A dash of lip colour and a swatch of blush, a winged liner and a clutch and voila you’re the proper Patola.

Ensure you buy a dozen outfits beforehand so that you have a new outfit or suits for every day after your big fat Punjabi marriage. It's important. You can not afford to repeat an outfit, not so soon at least.

4. You, Will, Have To Remember The Names Of All Your Relatives


By default know this that you will have to meet and greet a lot of relatives. A lot! From extended families to the group of aunties, it's all real and it will happen to you as well. But you’ve got this. Put your game face on and begin with the bare necessities. Hustle, bustle but remember to stay calm amidst it all. Is, "Who is this aunt with the big wrapped box?" bothering a lot? Then stop right there, because of everything Punjabi marriage is a fun and cheerful occasion and people are mostly too jolly to wonder if you know them or remember their name that your groom told you months ago!

Your Solution To Nail This: Remember to cut yourself some slack through it all. It is okay to feel anxious at times like this. New home, new family, it’s a lot to take in. If it is a love marriage, try to recall the Take deep breaths and try and be a part of the celebrations as much as you can. If you don’t remember a name or two today eventually you will. A Punjabi marriage is equivalent to a rollercoaster ride so ensure that you don't forget to enjoy it.

5. Khandaan, Traditional Bahu, The Expectations!


Yep! This is as real as it gets. You’ll be expected to become a walking and talking replica of the perfect Bahu. A Bahu your mother-in-law will take pride in introducing to her friends at a kitty party. So, how to become that wonder woman? Did Bollywood tell us enough about the ideal Bahu, yet? So you think waking up early morning and entering the kitchen is the basic necessity? Not anymore!

Your Solution To Nail This: Accompany her to her kitty parties. Make her happy. Show her you’re on the same page as hers. Ask your husband for some hacks. What his mother likes and otherwise. Some insider help will surely do you some good for now and for the longer haul.

6. Friends! Enemies! Frenemies!

via Gfycat

Jeete raho, phulo phalo, khair chodo!

In your new family, their extended family and their family of family, how do you find sugar and spice? You must be left wondering who's in your inner circle or rather who could be in the near future. This is definitely one of the most important cues after your Punjabi marriage that you have to watch out for. You don’t want to start your new journey on the wrong foot.

Your Solution To Nail This: Be a little bit of sugar and a little bit of spice! Trust in the power of being neutral. Slowly and steadily as you get more comfortable you will know whom to confide in and otherwise, this is how you get the best of both the worlds in a Punjabi marriage setting. 

7. Be Your Own Hero


Amidst handling all your new relatives and combating with this new lifestyle don't forget to find some ME time. Catch an interval of relaxation or two to find solace and be at peace with yourself even if the Punjabi marriage like any other marriage demands a lot from you. Do what you used to do to calm your nerves before you got married. The happier you are the better is the chance of your adjusting in full swing. Don't let yourself spiral down in a loop - whenever you feel the adds on of a Punjabi marriage are getting on to you, take a deep breath and relax! 

8. How Bridal Diet Goes Down The Drain With Butter Chicken in the House!


We know you worked extremely hard to get in shape for your big day. Worried that now amidst the endless butter chicken, Tandoori Chaap and Dal Makhani food spread you'll have to say bye-bye to your perfect figure?

Your Solution To Nail This: Ouch! Sorry girls. There is no force stronger than a Punjabi food spread. It is what it is. And, this blow in your Punjabi marriage scenario you will have to deal with on your own! And get the diet chart updated after all the pampering of the newlywed bride is sorted and satiated.


A Punjabi marriage is another realm altogether. Once your wedding is over you will have to figure out each of these things to ensure you have a fruitful life ahead with your husband. It is an intercultural marriage after all. Often times you will find yourself struggling with the cultural differences and the new traditions that are coming your way. Don’t single yourself out during times like these.

You chose to get married to this guy because he was totally worth it. Place your trust in him that his presence will make it all better for you and that his family will take you in as their own and make you just as Punjabi as they are and become glued to your culture as well. So, don't fret about all the things that will be different, rather be happy of all the new rituals and traditions that you will get to become a part of. We all have seen the movie Two States, right?

Now, get ready to feature in your very own blockbuster of North meets south Punjabi marriage. Boy meets Girl. Fall in love! And, now living happily married and ever after!

These are but only a few changes that you’ll face post your Punjabi marriage. Have some more cues to offer or give a heads-up to all the ladies who are getting married into a Punjabi family? Tell us through comments.