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The uncertainty of the COVID situation has led to make wedding postponements since 2018. To-be-married couples are stressed as they are witnessing a whirlwind of emotions due to the pandemic. Understanding the roller coaster ride that our real couples have experienced, we bring forth valuable insights from Dr Santosh Bangar, Senior Consultant – Psychiatry at Global Hospitals in Parel, Mumbai on how to deal with wedding postponement anxiety.
He says, “The coronavirus pandemic has resulted in many wedding postponements. Planning and organising a wedding takes a lot of time. After all, weddings are one of life's biggest events and something couples and their families have been planning and looking forward to for a while, so a cancellation or postponement is going to bring some big feelings.”. He further shares, “The postponement effects on mental health can be varied, ranging from anxiety, sleep disturbance, mood changes, depression, drug/alcohol abuse or simply behavioural problems like irritability, comfort eating or frustration regarding the uncertainty of the pandemic.” Many couples and their families may report symptoms like:
- Low mood
- Lacking motivation
- Repeated crying
- Oversleeping or trouble sleeping
So here are some important tips from his expert's lens on how to deal with wedding postponement anxiety. Scroll down to see some steps to deal with this.
Feeling Sad is Normal Right Now
A wedding is the most important event in everyone’s life, so if a sudden cancellation or the wedding postponement is making you sad or disappointed, don't worry as it is completely normal. It is completely okay and understandable to acknowledge your real feelings. Further, throwing light on this Dr Santosh says, “It is important for couples to acknowledge that whatever their feeling—sadness, disappointment or frustration—is completely valid. There can be consequences to holding up emotions. If one doesn’t let themselves grieve, the sadness and frustration may come out in other ways, like irritability or even mild depression.”
Celebrate Love as Love is Not Cancelled
Couples who have been planning their weddings for months have had to sit back and watch their dream wedding dates get cancelled and postponed amidst this pandemic outbreak. However, they should not know that true love always stays, beyond distance and time. Dr Santosh says, “Remember: You Can Still Celebrate Your Love. If you're separated from each other during this time, make an effort to call each other often, send mail/messages to each other, or deliver special gifts to their doorstep. If possible, throw yourselves a virtual date: learn a new dance together or cook the same recipe at the same time."
Take This as an Opportunity to Grow Together
Take this time as a boon cause this will help you to bond better with each other. After all, this is a pragmatic learning for you both as you both will get to know how important it is to support each other and cope with stressful events, which is an inevitable part of life. Dr Santosh shares, “While your wedding may be postponed, you will still have one down the line, when the pandemic situation improves. In the meantime, you have each other to get through this time, which can help couples grow closer and stronger.” He further shares, “Celebrate your love! One can have a nice dinner together, take pictures at a Zoom party for your nearest and dearest to raise a toast. You could surprise your partner or plan it together."
Seek a Social Support
During this phase it is extremely important to stay in touch with positive people or like minded people. As these people will help you to come out of the situation well. A sentence like, “You will get through” and “everything will be fine” is really helpful. These people will not judge or preach. They will empathise as they know that it is fine to be sad, frustrated and disappointed. Dr Santosh adds, “Make it a point to remain in social contact which could bond you better and understand each other’s emotions.”
Find a Creative Outlet
Carry on with your dreams and passions or do something that will ease you down. Call a friend or maybe paint about your emotions on a canvas. Doing something creative actually gives you faucet to release pent up emotions. Jot down your emotions in a journal creatively, you can doodle away your emotions etc. Else you both can meet and binge watch your favourite romantic movie, play pool or have a romantic karaoke together. Dr Santosh says, It might be writing, painting, singing or dancing– anything that helps to distract the mind rather than worrying about the wedding.”
Help Elders Deal With It Positively
The elders in the family are also disappointed because of this unpredictability, being emotionally involved in the entire wedding process they are getting overwhelmed to see delays, cancelled plans, apprehensive kids, cancellation of wedding cards etc. Further, dealing with everyone's emotional reaction is another daunting task for couple’s and their families. So which is why we asked Doctor Santosh on how elders can cope with this and he says, “ You should explain to them or understand that, Due to the uncertainty of the pandemic, one must follow the 'Better safe than sorry’ approach as health takes precedence. So, a delay in the postponement must be taken in stride as a precautionary measure. Of course, the emotions in the family, planning and financial implications cannot be ignored, but one must remain optimistic for a future date for the wedding in a safe environment.”
Things to Avoid
If stress levels are high and you feel it is affecting the quality of your life and relationship, reach out for professional support or may be a friend. However to protect your emotional and mental well being you should avoid the below pointers. Dr Santosh has shared these pointers for the couples and their families.
- Don’t indulge in drug or alcohol or even comfort eating to numb the emotional turmoil.
- Don’t Be afraid to cry and show your true emotions.
- Don’t hold it all inside.
- Don’t speak to people who are not compassionate – no matter how close they seem to be.
Further, there is no harm in taking professional help. Book an appointment with a mental health expert and learn a new way to surpass this unpredictability. Rest, if you both support each other during this face in a positive manner then this anxiety issue will definitely stay at bay.
If your wedding is getting postponed and you want to talk or pent up your emotions then we are always here to help. Also, if you have any queries about your wedding planning or are looking for expert advice in these times, you can write to us at email@example.com. You can also visit the WeddingWire Community page to connect with couples like you who have postponed their wedding and support each other through these wavering hours.