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We might have started talking about this during Covid, but postponing your wedding dates can be a normal scenario for various reasons. Weddings get postponed for multiple personal reasons. You might have to delay your wedding if someone in the family has fallen sick, or if you have a career or education opportunity that requires you to travel and you want to pursue it for a few months before the wedding. You might also have to postpone for financial reasons or if both the families are not seeing eye-to-eye and need more time to understand one and another.
Understanding the roller coaster ride that our couples might experience during this time, we bring forth valuable insights from Dr Santosh Bangar, Senior Consultant – Psychiatry at Global Hospitals in Parel, Mumbai on how to deal with wedding postponement anxiety.
He says, “Planning and organising a wedding takes a lot of time. After all, weddings are one of life's biggest events and something couples and their families have been planning and looking forward to for a while, so a cancellation or postponement is going to bring some big feelings.”. He further shares, “The postponement effects on mental health can be varied, ranging from anxiety, sleep disturbance, mood changes, depression, drug/alcohol abuse or simply behavioural problems like irritability, comfort eating or frustration regarding the uncertainty of the pandemic.” Many couples and their families may report symptoms like:
- Low mood
- Lacking motivation
- Repeated crying
- Oversleeping or trouble sleeping
So here are some important tips from his expert's lens on how to deal with wedding postponement anxiety. Scroll down to see some steps to deal with this.
Feeling Sad is Normal Right Now
A wedding is the most important event in everyone’s life, so if a sudden cancellation or the wedding postponement is making you sad or disappointed, don't worry as it is completely normal. It is completely okay and understandable to acknowledge your real feelings. Further, throwing light on this Dr Santosh says, “It is important for couples to acknowledge that whatever their feeling—sadness, disappointment or frustration—is completely valid. There can be consequences to holding up emotions. If one doesn’t let themselves grieve, the sadness and frustration may come out in other ways, like irritability or even mild depression.”
Celebrate Love as Love is Not Cancelled
Couples in love might find it very difficult to postpone a wedding if things don't work out between the families. Give it time! True love always wins beyond distance and time. Dr Santosh says, “Remember: You Can Still Celebrate Your Love. If you're separated from each other, make an effort to call each other often, send mail/messages to each other, or deliver special gifts to their doorstep. If possible, throw yourselves a virtual date: learn a new dance together or cook the same recipe at the same time."
Take This Challenge as an Opportunity to Grow Together
Married couples go through many challenges of life together. Consider the postponement as the first challenge. After all, this is a pragmatic learning for you both as you both will get to know how important it is to support each other and cope with stressful events, which is an inevitable part of life. Dr Santosh shares, “You have each other to get through this time, which can help couples grow closer and stronger.” He further shares, “Celebrate your love! One can have a nice dinner together, take pictures at a Zoom party for your nearest and dearest to raise a toast. You could surprise your partner or plan it together."
Seek a Social Support
We often tend to isolate when we are going through a difficult phase in life. Disconnecting from the people who love and care for you is not the best solution right now. Talk to people, stay in touch and allow your relationships to be there for you. Dr Santosh adds, “Make it a point to remain in social contact which could bond you better and understand each other’s emotions.”
Find a Creative Outlet
Carry on with your dreams and passions or do something that will ease you down. Doing something creative actually gives you faucet to release pent up emotions. Jot down your emotions in a journal creatively, you can doodle away your emotions etc. Else you both can meet and binge watch your favourite romantic movie, play pool or have a romantic karaoke together. Dr Santosh says, It might be writing, painting, singing or dancing– anything that helps to distract the mind rather than worrying about the wedding.”
Help Elders Deal With It Positively
The elders in the family are also disappointed because of this unpredictability, being emotionally involved in the entire wedding process they are getting overwhelmed to see delays, cancelled plans, apprehensive kids, cancellation of wedding cards etc. Further, dealing with everyone's emotional reaction is another daunting task for couple’s and their families, Dr Santosh shares, “Of course, the emotions in the family, planning and financial implications cannot be ignored, but one must remain optimistic for a future date for the wedding and always be positive when you take responsible decisions”
Things to Avoid
If stress levels are high and you feel it is affecting the quality of your life and relationship, reach out for professional support or may be a friend. However to protect your emotional and mental well being you should avoid the below pointers. Dr Santosh has shared these pointers for the couples and their families.
- Don’t indulge in drug or alcohol or even comfort eating to numb the emotional turmoil.
- Don’t be afraid to cry and show your true emotions.
- Don’t hold it all inside.
- Don’t speak to people who are not compassionate – no matter how close they seem to be.
Further, there is no harm in taking professional help. Book an appointment with a mental health expert and learn a new way to surpass this unpredictability. Rest, if you both support each other during this face in a positive manner then this anxiety issue will definitely stay at bay.