Love, Laughter, and a Lifetime of Teasing: 70+ Funny Marriage Quotes for Couples

Aaj Mere Yaar Ki Shaadi Hai moment is as real as it can get! From being a Sarbala to your best mate and giving them a push as they sit on the Ghodi, friends are all we have and need in life for that extra something - for this journey, we call life all the more special! As we keep growing up, each of our friends finds their 'IT' person - somewhat like Sonu Ke Titu Ki Sweety and we know that your exclusive friendship will cease to be just that! that is not always the case, and there are ways in which you can ensure that Sonu and Titu stay together - ALWAYS! Often, words fall short, and you will be at a loss as to how to convey how happy you are for them. If you are in a tough spot like that and can't seem to put your feelings into words, these funny marriage quotes for couples will help you out.

Table of Content:

• Funny Marriage Anniversary Quotes
• Short Funny Marriage Quotes
• Funny Marriage Wishes for Newlyweds
• Friends Marriage Funny Quotes
• Funny Marriage Quotes in Hindi 
• Funny Marriage Invitation Quotes
• Funny Marriage Quotes in Tamil

Funny Marriage Anniversary Quotes 

Why should the wedding fun just end with the conclusion of the marriage ceremony? We bring to you a plethora of funny wedding anniversary quotes that you can WhatsApp your friend and share a good laugh with. Not just friends, but these funny relationship quotes can also be used as funny marriage quotes for husband or to publish as funny marriage quotes for Instagram on your profile too. Check them out!

1. "Take my love. I'll never ask for too much. Just all that you are. And everything that you do."  - Whitney Houston

2. "What's the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday." - Cindy Garner

3. "Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shit, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open." - George Bernard Shaw

4. "An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her." — Agatha Christie

5. "A good marriage is like a casserole; only those responsible for it really know what goes in it." - Unknown

6. "Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid (their) problems sound to you." - Megan Mullally

7. "Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash." - Joyce Brothers

8. "To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up." - Ogden Nash

9. "Marriage, simply put, is like saying that you accept all the terms and conditions (T&C), without actually reading them."

10. "You know, there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time - Husbands!!" - Bill Maher

Short Funny Marriage Quotes

Although long heartfelt messages wishing anyone a happy marriage never go out of trend, sharing short funny marriage quotes via texting apps has become more of a trend among internet users. So, for a quick, quirky wedding wish for your best mate or sibling, here are some really interesting, short, funny love quotes that you can digitally send across. Husbands, use these short, funny marriage quotes for your wife throughout your wedding/anniversary day, and see her smile and laugh all day long. 

11. "Want to scare your husband? Simply ask him if he remembers what's special today.”

12. "The most important four words for a successful marriage - I'll do the dishes."

13. "Husbands are like wine. They take a long time to mature." - Letters To Juliet

14. "In every good marriage, it pays sometimes to be a little deaf." - Ruth Bader Ginsburg

15. "Let marriage be like a drama school. More comedy than drama."

16. "Three magic words for a successful marriage? Yes, Dear!"

17. "Marriage is like a walk in the park...Jurassic Park" - Anonymous

18. "Funny how in a marriage, both partners think that they got the better deal."

19. "No wife argues with a man who is cleaning that very moment."

20. "Getting Married = Man officially under new management."

Funny Marriage Wishes for Newlyweds

Is it time to bring your A-game and deliver a best man's speech or write a funny marriage wish for your friends in that wedding greeting card? Fear not, because we have you covered with amazing and fun marriage wish quotes to choose from! Send them rolling on the floor after the few hectic days they have had with this bunch of wishes! 

21. Congratulations! Now you're one bed, one remote, one bathroom! Congratulations on your union as life partners!

22. You got together like two beans in a pod! Joy forever!

23. An ideal wife is any woman with an ideal husband!

24. I knew you two were in love, but didn’t think you’d be mad enough to marry. Have a great life ahead.

25. No amount of wishes or luck will protect you from the painful life of slavery you are about to start as a husband. Congratulations anyway.

26. Marriage marks the end of a love story and the start of a wrestling match. I wish you the very best of everything, anyway.

27. You are so excited to make your partner happy and loved always. Then you will find out that you did nothing but annoy each other instead. Congratulations!

28. Your laughter will be dead; Your rejoicing will be nullified. There will be just one voice at home now: your wife’s. Happy married life!

29. Well, now it’s the beginning of the end for you. No more beers or nights out with the guys, but at least you have a loving wife. Congrats!

30. The only difference between marriage and stupidity is that marriage is expensive, while stupidity comes free of cost. Congratulations on being expensively stupid.

31. I guess you two were madly in love with each other. From now on, it would just be madness—happy married life.

32. Getting married is a two-way street – do all you can to avoid head-on collisions. A life loved is precious.

33. Before you’re married, you will fall madly in love with each other. After you’re married, you will just be mad at each other. Oh well, best wishes for your wedding.

34. What do fun with the boys, out on the town, and partying have in common? Three things you won’t be doing after the wedding. Good luck.

35. From single to married, from available to busy, from no worries to no money — Are you sure you want to do this?

36. Like a well-constructed house, this marriage is built to last. Think of jewellery on birthdays as your insurance.

37. Getting married is like a class on Shakespeare. You get a little comedy, some romance and a lot of tragedy. Congratulations.

Friends Marriage Funny Quotes

Couples wanting to add humour to their lives, especially on special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries, take the safe route and quote a famous person. The legends have left some really funny quotes about marriage for you to draw inspiration for your speech. You can always end the speech with a "he said it, not me" *wink. 

38. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are." – Will Ferrell

39. "My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way." – Henny Youngman

40. "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." – Henny Youngman

41. "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." – Groucho Marx

42. "Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops." – Anonymous

43. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade." – Anonymous

44. "The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once." – Ogden Nash

45. "When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife." – Prince Philip

46. "My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met." – Rodney Dangerfield

47. "An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her." – Agatha Christie

Funny Marriage Quotes in Hindi 

Here are some funny wishes and quotes written on marriage and for married couples in Hindi. Check out these unique wishes and add them to your greeting card, Instagram caption or speech to add humour to your content. 

48. "Apko aakhirkaar koi aisa vyakti mil gaya hai jo aapke ajeebogareeb chutkulon ko samajhta hai. unhen hamesha sambhaal kar rakhana!"

49. "Kisi dost ki shaadi se bura kuchh nahin hota. Ab, mere maata-pita ke paas mujhe shaadi ke lie manaane ka ek aur karan hai. Badhai ho."

50. "Shaadi ke vichaar ko kabhi bhi nazarandaaz na karen. Zaroor, koi aapko bata sakaa hai ki shaadi sirf ek kaagaz ka tukada hai. Khair, paisa bhi to aisa hi hai!"

51. "Mafia se zyaada khatarnaak hoti hain patniya! Mafia ya to aapka paisa chahta hai ya aapki jaan... patniya dono chahti hain!"

52. “Hamaari shaadi achchhe ya bure ke lie hui thi. Mai isse behtar nahin kar sakta the, aur ye isse bhi bura nahin kar sakti thi.”

53. “Meri sabse shaandaar upalabdhi meri patni ko mujhse shaadi karane ke lie manane ki kshamta thi.”

54. "Jab koi aadmi bina kisi karan ke apne patni ke liye phool laata hai, to waha zarur ek karan hota hai."

55. "Kya aap jaante hain ki un logon ke liye ek naam hai jo har samay har cheez mein galat hote hain... Pati!"

56. "Ek rishte mein ek aadmi ke paas ek vikalp hai: ya to aap sahi ho sakte hain ya aap khush ho sakte hain."

57. “Hum hamesha haath pakadte hain. Agar main jaane doon, to woh khareedari karne lagti hai.”

Funny Marriage Invitation Quotes 

Formal marriage invites for everyone, but funny marriage invites for your bride and groom squad? Yes, please! Make your closest friends and cousins have a great laugh reading your wedding invite, and give them a sneak peek into all the shenanigans that await them on your D-day by getting these funny marriage quotes for friends scribbled or printed with the wedding invite hamper.

58. "An evening of two people tying the knot... and then everyone untying enough to dance all night long. Join us with your best dance moves and a big appetite."

59. "Free booze for all, with a complimentary wedding on the side. This chugging train leaves at 5:30 PM on 27th October, 2025. Don't miss the fun!"

60. "Till death do us pull up our shenanigans. And make memories of a lifetime! Be there."

61. "We're upgrading from dating to 'Khullam Khulla Pyaar Karenge Hum Dono". It's time to celebrate, and you are invited."

62. "We are finally answering the question of the hour, 'Shaadi Kab Kar Rahe Ho'! It is happening soon, and you are invited to witness it."

63. "Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you dare miss our wedding, we will photoshop that shadiest photo of you!"

64. "We are going all out buying the blingiest wedding outfits available in the market, so that you can take our most uncensored photos at our wedding after party. You can't miss it for the world!"

65. "Our dating apps subscription comes to an end. We are getting married, and you are invited!"

66. "Yes, we are getting married. Yes, it's happening very soon. No, it is not a drill. No, you cannot RSVP 'maybe'."

67. "I am not Ross, so this is the only chance you're getting to attend my wedding. Be there to watch me say 'I take thee Rachel..'."

Funny Marriage Quotes in Tamil

Go local with funny relationship quotes, funny long-distance relationship quotes, and even cute funny love quotes, with these zany funny marriage quotes in Tami. Share these light-hearted, funny quotes with your partner or as a greeting for your couple friends and family. 

68. “கணவன்-மனைவி உறவில் 'நான்' என்பது 'நாம்' ஆக மாறும் விந்தை நடக்கும். "எனக்கு இது பிடிக்கும், உனக்கு அது பிடிக்கும்," என்பதெல்”

69. முதிர்ச்சி என்பது உங்கள் மனைவியிடம் 'நீங்கள் எப்போதும் சரிதான்' என்று ஒவ்வொரு முறையும் சொல்வதாகும், உரையாடல் அல்லது பகுத்தறிவுக்கு இடமளிக்காமல்.

70. “நாங்கள் நல்லதோ கெட்டதோ திருமணம் செய்துகொண்டோம். நான் இதைவிட சிறப்பாகச் செய்திருக்க முடியாது, அவளும் இதைவிட மோசமாகச் செய்திருக்க முடியாது.” - ஹென்றி யங்மேன்

71. “ஆரோக்கியமான உறவின் சிறந்த அறிகுறி டிஜிட்டல் சமூக வலைப்பின்னலில் அதன் அடையாளம் இல்லாமல் இருப்பதுதான்.”

72. “ஒருவரை திருமணம் செய்வதற்கு முன், அவர்கள் உண்மையில் யார் என்பதைப் பார்க்க, மெதுவான இணையம் கொண்ட கணினியைப் பயன்படுத்தச் சொல்ல வேண்டும்.” - வில் ஃபெரல்

73. “திருமணம் என்பது ஒரு ஆண் தனது இளங்கலைப் பட்டத்தை இழப்பதும், ஒரு பெண் தனது முதுகலைப் பட்டம் பெறுவதும் ஆகும்.”

74. “திருமணத்திற்கு முன் உங்கள் கண்களை அகலத் திறந்து வைத்திருங்கள், பின்னர் பாதியை மூடிக்கொள்ளுங்கள்.” - பெஞ்சமின் பிராங்க்ளின்

75. "திருமணத்தில், ஒருவர் எப்போதும் சரி, மற்றவர் கணவர் என்பதை நினைவில் கொள்ளுங்கள். திருமண ஆண்டுவிழா வாழ்த்துக்கள்!"

76. "ஒவ்வொரு சிறந்த ஆணுக்கும் பின்னால் ஒரு சிறந்த பெண் இருப்பதாக அவர்கள் கூறுகிறார்கள். எனவே, அன்பே, எங்கள் திருமண ஆண்டு விழாவில், நான் உங்களுக்குப் பின்னால் இருக்கிறேன் என்பதை உங்களுக்குத் தெரிவிக்க விரும்பினேன்... உங்கள் ஒவ்வொரு அசைவையும் தீர்மானிக்கிறேன்."

77. "காது துளைத்த ஆண்கள் திருமணத்திற்கு சிறப்பாகத் தயாராகிறார்கள் - அவர்கள் வலியை அனுபவித்து நகைகளை வாங்கியுள்ளனர்." - ரீட்டா ரட்னர்