Though an age-old Indian institution still seen in over 70% of the marriages in the country, arranged marriages come with one tiny snag that tends to throw most brides off – the first night after arranged marriage. Though the physical side of your relationship with your husband is a natural and expected part of marriage, it’s even more natural for you to feel nervous before embarking on the same.
After all, you’re going to be extremely vulnerable and intimate with someone you don’t quite know that well, and the thought of the same can be terrifying for many people.
What makes it harder for most brides is the fact that sex, and any discussions pertaining to the same, is pretty much taboo in the country. In fact, we live in a day and age where a simple kiss gets censored when shown on television! So, how is the average woman to prepare herself for her first night after arranged marriage, when she’s had little to no sex education? We’ll tell you how!
1. Let’s start with the first step in the whole process – picking the husband!
We understand that while in some parts of the country arranged marriages are merely arranged introductions, with the choice to marry left to the children, in other parts, women don’t have much of a choice when it comes to picking the guy. If you are lucky enough to belong to the first group, then keep this in mind: pick someone who you can be friends with.
It’s a pretty basic rule but at its heart, it guarantees one big thing: a sense of comfort. Unless you can establish some sort of mutual friendship or respect, the first night after arranged marriage will be an awkward one for both of you!
2. Speak to a married sister or a friend before the wedding!
Now, whether you’re aware of intricacies of a physical relationship or not, it’s always best to speak to someone who understands what you are going through now, and will experience in the future! Your older sister or friend can tell you about their own nervousness during the first night after arranged marriage and can possibly even tell you how they overcame their emotions.
A trusted individual’s advice can go a long way when you find yourself alone with your husband for the first time! If you find yourself in a similar boat as they did, follow their advice to make things easier.
3. Break the ice by having a conversation!
A great way to inspire some wedding night romance is by breaking the ice through conversation. After the wedding week is over, you and your husband already have a bank of shared memories that you can talk about. So, pick any memory that you love and go from there.
Slowly, the conversation will evolve from possibly awkward sentences to flowing paragraphs and you’ll find yourself feeling at ease on the first night after arranged marriage. Let the conversation then flow into your own likes and dislikes so that the two of you can get to know each other. Remember, humans are comfortable with what is familiar, and getting to know each other’s preferences is the first step in breeding familiarity!
4. Wear something comfortable!
Now, if you’re to believe only what you see in movies, you’ll think that revealing lingerie is the right outfit for your first night after arranged marriage. However, if you’re the kind of person who likes her hemlines to be strictly at the knee, you’re going to feel incredibly uncomfortable when so exposed. So, just wear something that you are comfortable in.
Chances are, your husband will think you’re beautiful in no matter what you wear – it’s his first night after arranged marriage too! Remember that both of you are trying your best to be amicable and loving at this point, so the likelihood of anyone being nit-picky about your garments is very little!
5. Joint family considerations!
It is customary for many couples to spend their first night after arranged marriage in the same hotel that they got married in, as bridal suites are often part of the package. However, if that is not the case with you, we can understand that you might be feeling awkward about sharing a bedroom wall with your in-laws!
Don’t let that thought be a key one in your mind! The more you freak yourself out, the more uncomfortable you’ll be. Weddings run late into the night and your in-laws will be asleep – no one’s going to suddenly call out for you! More importantly, no one is going to hear from you!
During the weeks and days leading up to your wedding, do keep these things in mind. They will help you be more comfortable when your first night approaches!
Get in touch with our makeup artists for great tips for your wedding night!