The novel strain of COVID 19 pandemic has left a lot of us in awkward phases of our lives. Every industry has had its fair share of inconveniences because of the government protocols like social distancing and isolation that happen to be the dire need of the hour. For a bride or a groom and the families who spend years and months planning their big day to be a perfect envision of a dream come true, having to postpone their wedding is devastating to put it in words.
If you are a friend, relative or family of a couple who is faced with the decision of postponing their wedding and they happen to take the right step for a bigger cause, it is very crucial for you to stand by them in their decision of wedding postponement and help them beat the postponement blues.
You will have to do your bit of thoughtfulness and be sensitive towards the situation in order to stand by the couple and help them overcome the gloominess of wedding postponement. Here are some ways you can make sure to bring a smile on their faces and help them go through this with strength and love. Because a little love goes a long way and we know it!
Put Yourself In Their Shoes
In order to understand the intensity of the situation, it is very important for you to first feel the same emotions as the bride and groom are feeling. Once you know the feelings and emotions invested in the process of wedding planning through all the stress and de-stressing, you will know what it means to postpone the wedding. You will realise how you would want to be treated in a situation like that by your friends and you have the key to help your friends now! Empathy is the only way to help them get through this.
A Pep Talk is a Must
Remind them that this isn't the end of the world and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and while they wait for the silver lining, you can send them thoughtful messages and emails or speak to them over a call. Do not tell them it is gonna be okay and bail because that will not solve the way they are feeling. Let them know how this period can be considered as a time to make things better and that probably the bridesmaids can practice their dance moves even more to win the show!
Let Them Vent
It is very important to be a patient listener because their loss is bigger than yours at that moment. The wedding postponement might have affected your travel plans and cause you a loss of finances too, but the emotional investment of the couple cannot be compared to that. Instead of telling them your inconveniences, hear them out and give them comfort and reliability in talking to you.
Avoid Asking Questions
It is obvious that the wedding postponement will not go ignored and it will be the talk in the house for a long time with regrets and anxiety too. It is very crucial for you to avoid asking questions about the situation even if it is the elephant in the room and instead you listen, acknowledge, show your concern, offer your support — and move on.
Normalise & Validate
While the couple might feel guilty for complaining about the wedding postponement because the bigger picture of the pandemic is far more miserable, it is your responsibility to make them feel okay to be sad about the situation. Comfort them because everybody has different suffering and their experience of loss is normal. Validate their emotions and invest your time in comforting them and conveying support in whatever way possible to help your friend who postponed her wedding. Tell them you understand and it isn't their fault and that you are sure everybody else related to this wedding will understand too.
Help Them with The Calls
There are tons of calls and messages that the couple will have to send out. From change-the-dates to the guests to the postponement proposals to the vendor partners, the list is long. There is a whole lot of effort that will be kept on hold and a whole lot more required to make the changes. It will be sad for them and a lot of work. This is why you can stand by them and offer your help in making some calls on behalf of them and extend a helping hand to show them that you understand and you are there for them to count on.
Honour The Original Date
It is very important to honour the original date that was fixed for the wedding. If it is still the time of social distancing and isolation, you could probably plan for a movie night online and watch it as a group. You can plan for a group virtual cooking eve or a virtual dinner and cards night in. Pop some wine bottles and toast the date and while at it make sure the couple still feels special even if the date had to be postponed.
Send Them Little Somethings
The social distancing protocol might prevent you from visiting the couple even if they live right next door. However, you can send them little somethings as gifts like an Amazon gift card or a Netflix subscription, maybe flowers and a box of doughnuts that are okay to be sent according to the government's norms and allowances. You can ask all your friends to say nice messages and stories of the couple or individual bride-to-be and groom-to-be and put the snippets together for a beautiful digital message or a video montage that will surely light up their mood.
The times are uncertain and the efforts are unfathomable. While we understand the conflict of emotions while you identify the red flags to postpone your wedding, the vendors are doing their best to be supportive and help you navigate the change of plans to newer ones. the impact of the pandemic on the to-be-wed couples could be overwhelming but there is always a way out. We will get through this and come out stronger with better credence.
If you are looking for more guidance for weddings during the Coronavirus pandemic times, you can find some help here. Comment more ways to help friends who have postponed their wedding and are fighting the wedding postponement blues below.