Matrimonial success has been an intriguing topic since the first divorce. What is it that makes some couples stick together forever, while others slowly drift apart? The University of Texas tried answering this question by studying over 156 couples who got married in 1989. They saw that 13 years later, 68 couples were still happily married. Out of the rest, 32 couples were unhappily married and 56 couples had split up. After careful evaluation of each couple’s story, they finally knew what went wrong. The study revealed that the first 2 years of marriage are the most important ones when determining the rest of your life together. So, with that in mind, let us look at how you can stay strong as a lovely couple for life. Read these tips and make your lovely couple goals for all others!
1. Talk about your lifestyle expectations to become a lovely couple!
Opposing lifestyle expectations can lead to a ton of friction between couples. One person may want a lavish lifestyle while the other may want to save for the future. It is important to talk about this and reach a compromise as a couple. This way, you can prevent a ton of future fights on how often the two of you holiday, go out, shop, or indulge in any other lifestyle activity.
2. Setting budgets together!
While this may seem like it’s linked with the first piece of advice, setting budgets is important even when you both are on the same page about your lifestyle. After all, you do not want to blow through your money and then scramble later. Set goals together and take concrete steps to achieve them. One of the reasons why this piece of advice works is because it promotes the feeling of building your lives together. When the two of you work towards a common goal, you’re likely to bond even more.
3. Indulge in an activity at least once a week!
Date night may sound like a cliché but couples that stick together, go out together! Try to hang out at least once a week in a setting that is not your home (or office if you work together). Go out on a date, go bowling, or watch a film…anything! Relationships can only sustain for so long based on past shared experiences. You must remember to add new experiences too! In the immortal words of Shah Rukh Khan in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, “Pyar Dosti Hai”. So, keep your friendship alive.
4. Make efforts with each other’s family!
Perhaps your in-laws are total darlings. Perhaps you don’t get along with them. Whatever the case may be, both of you must make efforts with each other’s family. Spend time with the in-laws by organising group activities like picnics, movie nights, family dinners, and so on. Do not allow your partner’s parents to feel neglected in any way! Remember that they are your allies too, and during the rocky first year, they can be your best source of information regarding how to tackle your boo’s weirder habits!
5. Retain your identity post marriage!
Now, this one might be a little tough, especially for women marrying into more traditional households. As your role shifts from a daughter to a wife and daughter-in-law, you may find yourself melting into one giant homogenous blob with your husband and family. While this is natural, you must retain your own identity too. You are your own person and there’s nothing wrong with that. If you find yourself constantly compromising on who you are, it can lead to a lot of resentment in the future. This can make way for fights and dissatisfaction.
6. Talk about sex!
Gone are the days when sex was a taboo and even married couples were scared to broach the subject. Whether you’re marrying for love or having an arranged marriage, the two of you must be able to express your desires to each other. Talk about what you like, and what you do not like at all! An unhealthy sex life can also spawn a lot of spats and squabbles, so do not shy away from the topic.
7. Talk about children!
Ideally, you should have this talk before marriage. However, that’s not always possible. When you do get married, talk to your spouse about when you expect to have kids (that is, if you want kids) and find out his expectations too. The last thing you want is to be hurried into motherhood. An unprepared mom must tackle feelings of resentment and unhappiness, and these are bound to take their toll on your relationship! Above all, communication is key! Make sure you chart out your future with your spouse to emerge as a lovely couple that stays together for all eternity!
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