50+ Sex Questions Every Couple Should Ask – From Deep to Dirty

Get to know each other or spice things up in the bedroom with these 50+ sex questions for couples!

29 of April, 2025

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Let's talk facts. Intimacy and intimate conversations in a relationship are as important as planning your life together. Because sex is not just a mere activity in the bedroom, which two grown-up adults indulge in, but it is a very powerful way of bonding together emotionally with each other. Healthy sex is one of the core factors of leading a healthy and contented relationship with each other. However, talking about sex with your partner can feel a little awkward to begin with. All the questions in our mind about how our partner will react to it, will they judge you, will be get angry and so on. But the question is, will you not have this conversation at all? If you will, then what's the best approach to getting the conversation started?

This is where this read will come in handy! Because we have curated a list of sex questions that you can ask your partner to get the communication started. And not just getting started, we have even upped the sex question answer game by adding a list of fun, flirty and even dirty questions that you can ask your bae. And while having fun with all these questions can turn out to be a great bonding time together, we also got on board Artika Singhh, the sex educator, to answer some sensitive questions which will help you communicate with your partner on the topic better, without making them feel awkward or pushed. Read on!

Sex Questions Answered by a Sex Educator

Artika Singhh is an Indian sex educator who touches and shares deep insights on topics about having safe sex, intimacy, pregnancy, protection and other crucial subjects. Coming from her deep-rooted knowledge on the topic, we picked her brains on the topic of ‘sex questions’, how to get the communication started, what are the dos and don’ts and other important factors to keep in mind while indulging in this subject with your partner. Here’s what she has to say:

Q1. What are the essential topics to cover about sexual health before tying the knot?

"Well, there are so many topics to cover before getting into a relationship or tying the knot, but the idea is not to overwhelm yourself or your partner and kind of take it step by step.

I think some things that one could pick and choose to talk about would be just preferences, like what are your sexual preferences?
What is your basic foundational understanding of pleasure, and how the understanding of pleasure can evolve for the two of you together, but also individually for yourself?
The next thing would be STD status. If you're getting into a longer-term relationship and you're hoping to also engage sexually, then for both partners to get tested for STDS would be a good step to just understand where things are at. If there's an infection, you can get treatment for it, or you can choose to use a condom.
Other than that, sexual health adjacent would be just consent. If you're experimenting with new things, then definitely establish consent for those new things, even if you're married to the person.", says Singhh.

Q2. What questions can help us understand each other's sexual needs better?

Artika says, "I always recommend keeping it as simple as possible. You don't have to overcomplicate it. Pleasure and the whole sexual experience are very common to a lot of humans. You'll be surprised to see how similarly people think when it comes to pleasure and sex. I recommend that you ask the other person what they like. 'What would you like me to do for you? Is there something specific you like doing? Is there something you want to try out? Is there something you want to experiment with? Do you think we should try out a new position? The questions have to be literally that simple. It doesn't have to be rocket science. And I think simpler the better, because that will help you kind of keep it organic."

Q3. How can couples address mismatched libidos or sexual desires?

"I think it's important to acknowledge that mismatched libidos or sexual desires are more common than we know. A lot of times, you are not fully able to explore each other sexually and physically before you get married, especially in India. And then you might end up in a relationship or a marriage where you have differing sexual desires and libidos. I just want to mention that having mismatched libidos in itself is not a medical issue. That just means you have different preferences. One thing is pleasure scheduling, which helps if you have mismatched libidos, where one person has more and one person has less. You can mutually agree on certain dates to engage sexually, which can help address both people's needs. Even if you are in a relationship, solo sex and masturbation are still very valid. I would 100% recommend it because why put so much pressure on your partner? Masturbation is still a very valid option, which doesn't hurt your partner because it doesn't involve any other parties. And this is again something you can have a conversation with your partner about. However, if the sexual libido of both partners is very low, then that can be considered a medical issue for which you can consult a doctor," says Singhh.

Q4. How can we introduce dirty talk without feeling awkward?

"Why shy away from feeling awkward? Sex, much like the rest of our lives, is a very real human experience, and there are things within it that can be awkward. Like sometimes people can fart during sex, or something you call a 'Queef', which is like a vaginal fart during sex, or a burp while kissing someone. Don't run away from awkward. Similarly within introducing dirty talk starts from whatever feels good, accessible, and comfortable.. You can gently ask your partner about their likes and dislikes, mention an A-rated movie and see how they respond to it and take the conversation further from there; and so on. It's a lot of it in trials. Don't worry about awkward and not awkward," shares Singhh.

Q5. What are some safe ways to explore new sexual fantasies together?

Artika says, "Theirs this thing that I call the three C's - Consent, Communicate, Contact.

Consent: Establish a space for both of you to agree on what other activities you do want to explore and what things you want to stay away from in that moment.
Communication: Talk about it as much as you want to. Even if it's awkward to talk about, it is still the way to go, because talking about it will normalise it for both of you and make it something easier to try rather than a daunting experience.
Contact: The last thing would be contact between two people and the importance of a condom! That sexual fantasies can sometimes be spaces where you can contract an infection, which may not be safe health-wise, and throwing in a condom in the mix can put you at ease about those things."

Q6. How can we discuss our sexual insecurities openly

Singhh shares, "The only formula is not to overcomplicate it and keep it simple. Life is already very complicated, and relationships are complex, and sexual relationships are even more complex. In a married couple, sex is often one of the parts of the relationship, and there are so many other moving pieces in the relationship. When everything else is so complicated, it does help to simplify this one thing and not kind of be in over your head about it."

Q7. How do we navigate differences in sexual preferences or fantasies?

"Communicate with full honesty, express about your likes, dislikes, your past traumas (if any), your safe zones and things that are an absolute no-no for both of you. Then discuss how you two can meet each other halfway and lay a playground where you both can safely explore your sexual preferences and fantasies, feeling completely safe and at ease doing so. To begin with, maybe focus on lighter preferences and fantasies that are not difficult to explore. This will build up confidence between you and your partner, make the touch more comfortable, and you can go on exploring your sexual desires one step at a time. Consent and communication are the key factors," says Artika.

Q8. What are effective ways to communicate about sexual boundaries and consent?

Singgh says, "So there are no special tips and techniques to talk about it. I think one big tip is not to talk about it in passing. Do not bring these topics up while you two are discussing an issue or are in an argument at the moment. I think that's avoidable, and the conversation should be like "Hey! Let's sit down and talk about this.", because that allows you to focus on the problem at hand and solve it. Instead of using the problem at hand as ammunition in fights or arguments where you're unlikely to find a solution for that problem, just sit down and talk about it. It's valid to talk about it. Everyone goes through it, and if you can talk about it, you're better than 90% of the people who will never talk about it."

Sex Questions to Ask Before Marriage

Yes, there are certain sex related questions that you must ask before marriage to check where you two are when it comes to sexual intimacy. Take this list of sex questions and answers as more of a warm-up to bring you close and help you understand your partner's take on sex and everything around it. Shortlist the questions you'd want to ask your partner, find a suitable moment when you two are in a relaxed, happy mood and maybe poke with one question and get started from there.

1. What are your desires and expectations of sex from your partner?

2. As per you, how often should you and your partner have sex after marriage?

3. After marriage, when would you like to start trying for a pregnancy?

4. What are your most erogenous points where you like getting touched the most?

5. What are your turn-ons and turn-offs?

6. What is your favourite A-rated movie of all time?

7. What instantly gets you in the mood for sex?

8. What are your sexual fantasies?

9. What is your love language in the bedroom?

10. How comfortable are you talking about sex? How can I make you feel more comfortable?

11. What is an absolute deal breaker for you if we talk about sex? Your sexual boundaries?

12. What is off-limits in the sex department?

13. Spontaneous sex vs scheduled sex - what is your preference?

14. Wild sex or slow erotic sex?

15. Will you prefer birth control pills or condoms for protection?

16. Do you like to be in control or be submissive in sex?

17. What about me turns you on, or do you find sexy about me?

18. Do you watch porn or read erotica?

Fun & Flirty Sex Questions for Couples

Now that you have established the basics with simple sex questions for couples, add a layer of fun to it by levelling it up with some fun and flirty sex talk questions. Feel free to crack up in a burst of laughter while answering these questions, but make sure you keep adjusting to the questions to keep your partner feeling comfortable.

19. Tell me about your wildest sex fantasy.

20. If we have to break a world record in sex, how many rounds of it would you want to have in one go?

21. I want to handcuff your wrists with my hand and kiss you all over. Can I?

22. Are you open to roleplaying in the bedroom?

23. What is your favourite time of the day to have sex?

24. Should I keep the lights up, dim or off while we have sex?

25. If we both are being cast in a sexy movie, which one would it be and why?

26. What will you do if I kiss and lick your ear right now?

27. Where in the world would you want us to have sex at? In a forest wooden cabin? On a deserted beach? By the campfire?

28. What should I wear that will instantly turn you on?

29. What is your definition of a mind-blowing sexual encounter?

30. If I ask you to be naughty with me, what will you do to me?

31. Have you ever wanted to try having sex in public places? If yes, then where?

32. Which part of my body do you find hottest?

33. How do I taste?

34. With a GIF, describe what you would like to do with me right now!

35. We are sitting at a dinner table. Where will your hands be under the table?

36. Do you prefer a soft bed or a bed to have sex on?

Dirty Sex Questions to Turn Up the Heat

You might want to sit down and feel at ease to indulge in these steaming hot, dirty sex questions with your partner. These sex related questions and answers can be a great way to sizzle up the night, and we take no credit for things that these questions might lead to in the bedroom. Just saying! Select your hot picks that you'd love to ask your partner over drinks, or if you are in a long-distance relationship, then via sexting.

37. Is it my lips or my fingers running all over your body that turns you on the most?

38. What sex positions would you like to try with me next?

39. How rough would you like sex to be?

40. What would you like to see me do that will turn you on?

41. What kind of sexual pleasure would you like me to focus on most?

42. Should we watch porn together? What kind of porn do you like?

43. Would you like to use a vibrator for extra pleasure?

44. What kind of sex toys should we buy for our bedroom adventures?

45. If I say 'no limits tonight', what would you like to do to me?

46. Describe in detail how you would like me to make you come.

47. How many orgasms do you wish to get tonight?

48. If I open my mouth right now, what would happen?

49. Would you like to try soft BDSM?

50. Let's try masturbation together tonight!

51. Do you like to be on top or under me?

52. I'm naked and all yours. What would you do to me?

53. Do you like talking dirty during sex?

These sex questions will surely deepen your two’s bond, make you feel more comfortable with each other and will add more excitement to your love life. The purpose of these questions is also to help you feel more connected with your partner and at ease discussing your fantasies and desires with them.

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