Now that you have finally found the love of your life with whom you want to spend the rest of your life, tell each of your parents and introduce them to each other. A wedding is not merely about you and your significant other, it is a social bonding that requires for your families to bond to and when it comes to families, it is mostly your own parents with the groom's, but then it also includes the other members in the family and the list can go on to some random uncle who you've never met but is important in the auspicious occasion. Ideally, you’d want to be optimistic and expect both parents to become friends instantly but that is not really how things always go.
Realistically, most of the parents take things about their children’s marriage as some serious business deal and to add to the clash, their children have freely decided to get married rather than the traditional arranged marriage. Thus, such couples need to face the challenge of approval since the decision is made by the bride and the groom, not their parents. To avoid making awkward situations worse, here are some helpful tips to remember when introducing your parents without starting a war:
Understand that They are Different People
Before anything else, accept the fact that your parents are different people. They will always have differences. Acknowledging this fact will help you realize how to handle them properly. Things may not always turn out as how you expect it but keep an optimistic outlook and treat both of your parents with respect. A mutual understanding between you and your groom-to-be is also something you should be relying on where if the boat ride goes downhill, you will have each other to balance it and that is the most important thing when you are trying to connect the families together.
Be the Mediator
Whether your parents have never met or happened to be acquainted in the past, be gracious enough to mediate this meeting. How you are going to organize this meeting will also greatly depend upon the background of your family and your own customs and traditions. You have to be the one to explain to your parents about the possible sensitivities of these issues so that they can gauge how they should approach the other family. And this consideration goes both ways, so you and your groom can find a common ground of safe discussions without the red flag. The word is out and you chose the man of your dreams, and now is the right time for you to start feeling that you belong. This should be your cue to start letting them spend the time more together. You can have a Bollywood retro look for the wedding, but let's hope to avoid any Two States movie situations in real life.
Organise the Rendezvous
You have to work together in making this meeting work out. The meeting place itself is very important to make it successful. Make sure that the time suits everybody’s schedule and that the place can accommodate everyone properly. Modern couples opt to have these formal introductions or announcements in hotels or restaurants since these are considered as neutral places. This means that neither of your families will feel any territorial ownership and will be in their most cordial behaviour. Now all those Bollywood numbers and movies on how the in-laws hate each other are of no help, so avoid believing those theories and know that the elders are just making sure that the young birds in love are a safe bet for each other beyond just the emotions involved.
Help Keep the Conversations Going
Although the purpose of having your parents meet is to allow them to know more about each other and to build a relationship as Samdhis, you should not leave all the talking to them. Never leave them all alone or else it could lead to frequently awkward silence especially if your parents are that gregarious. Extend your help in keeping the conversation going. It is much needed to take advice from the experts even if the choice is yours, and some questions need to be answered by the parents too and you will find bliss in their words of wisdom.
It’s your input that may help bridge the gap and soon they will be able to talk more comfortably. Here comes the need for the common ground again where you should be keen to know more about the family and soak it in and tell them about yourself and how you are keen to be a part of their lives. The blessings from all your and his near and dear ones are very much needed for you to start a new life together.
Let us avoid overdoing it from the beginning so that we do not end up in awkward silences but mark the beginning of something big and special and with the blessings of all the gorgeously dressed family members who will grace your big day, the first step of a social celebration. Get those marriage cards ready for delivery, the wedding bells are tolling.
Tell us about your idea of how you introduced your family members to one another and how did it go? Maybe we can learn too!